Diapers Q&A

How do you handle 2 children?

ok, so I know what it's like to have a newborn and I know that for the life of me I could not possibly care for another child between the 12 daily feeds, 10 diaper changes, pain and sleep deprivation. So what do you do when you have a second one?? please share any and every tip you have! Do you just let one or the other cry of hunger or discomfort or whatever?Do you not shower, or go to the washroom or eat? I just can't imagine caring for 2 children without an extra set of arms and legs- and assuredly enough, I know they will not grow so I need alternatives! btw. i'm going on the premise that the children are 18-24 month apart and you are staying home by yourself with both while the husband works. and kudos to all of you moms who have been there!!! It's funny, i'm not as worried about having 3 as i am about hte second because I assume that when you're at the 3 the first 2 are old enough to entertain eachother and you are more or less a pro mom by then punk- my question is precisely: HOW? i would love to hear some real-life experiences. we are more than 2 children in our family but we were raised elsewhere, different norms, different expectations etc.

Public Comments

1. It gets done think of all the people that have twins or triplets.
2. Try and think of it as a movie re-run !!
3. My kids are not that close together, but I can say that no matter what age, they still need something all day long. Sometimes I wouldn't eat until they went to bed, I know this sounds gross but days would go by until I'd realize that I haven't showered. What worked for me is cleaning your house can wait, laugh at things that would normally make me mad. Who ever is in the most need, is who I deal with first, then I go to the other child.
4. LMAO! you know what, you just adjust and do what you can when you can. Yeah its hard when one is crying and the other wants something too but you've just gotta keep a level head and muddle through it the best you can. there are no magic tricks or secrets to it except to have a glass of wine every now and then and hire a really good babysitter every now and then! Once you have the second one, after a while you forget what it was like with just one kid because you just do it. You have to be a little more organised but its not as hard as everyone makes it out to be. Don't worry, you'll be fine when number 2 arrives. Just remember to pick your battles and forget about the things that you can't control. I'm having no 3 and am doing my head in some days about how i will handle it but my mantra is "do not stress about the things I cannot control" best of luck
5. My boys are 3 and 13 months! My oldest helps alot with getting diapers and binkis!! I am a stay at hom mom and my Husband works. Our lives are crazier than most bc both of the boys have Heart defects and require lots of meds, dr appts and monitors!! My youngest is on a feeding pump. If you get on schedule things will be easier! get your oldest to help by playing with the baby while your cooking or cleaning. and as far as carrying both goes...We live on the 3rd floor and I do it all the time! Sometimes I have my oldest walk by himself and just keep encouraging him. The oldest wants your attention also so keep them included by telling him he is a good big brother when he does something for the baby and that he is a good helper!
6. I have 2 kids one is 16 mths and the other is 3 (almost 4) so they are 2.5 years apart. I am a SAHM plus I run a business out of the home during the day. My husband works 50+ hours a week plus Saturdays. I have a lot on me, some days I think I will be driven to drink (drinking is not in my nature, I just go for a HUGE cup of coffee). I will tell you it is insanly hard. Especially when my youngest was a newborn. We had jealousy issues from day one and still do. My first born was somewhat the prince of the family and for someone to come along and take most of it away was not in his itinerary. Plus at 2.5 he was still in diapers (Luckily for me he was having so much of an issue with jealousy he did not want anything to be like the baby and in 2 weeks was in underwear) The hardest thing for me is giving their baths and getting them ready for bed because I am at that time still by myself My 16 mth old will run around (he is no longer in a crib because he was climbing out at 14 mths) get himself undresses and strip his diaper off and my 3 year old I am trying to finish dressing. Feeding them can also be somewhat of a challenge because my 3 year old is I want I want I want and the 16 mth old is hitting the table and at that point you get frazzled. Sometimes I dont know how I make it through the day. But when I have my playdates with my girlfriends, go to the park then to lunch, it breaks up the day a little for me. All I can say thank GOD pre-school for my 4 year old is coming up in September and I can get a break.
7. it really hard but you have to do what you have to do. my first 2 are 26 months apart. they are now 3 and 19 months and let me tell you...it is NOT easy with my older one always bullying my younger one. AND im almost 33 weeks pregnant with my third. My daughter will be 21 months old when this baby comes. I can just imagine what life is gonna be like now lol. I dont get to shower when I want obviously. I have to wait until the kids are in bed, or take one in the morning when someone is home, before they go to work. If my husband works in the morning and I didnt take a shower the night before, guess Im dirty all day and have to wait til he gets home. And there is CONSTANT messes too. I love my kids more than anything in the world, but it is really hard. I never realized how easy it was with one child. I see people talking about how hard it is with their one child and im like HA try doing what I do everyday. One child is simple compared to 2 or more.
8. My children are 2 years and 11 days apart (the newest will be 2 months on Monday!!). I am home ALL day with them while my husband is in Kuwait with the army. Believe me in the days weeks and months before my youngest was born I really began to wonder what I had gotten myself into. But two months into it and I can't believe how "easy" it is. Not really easy but you get used to it. I still somehow have time to clean the house, workout and on occasion get online. I think once it happens you will be fine. You just learn to prioritize more. And you HAVE to be on as much of a schedule as a newborn will allow. For example I get up with my son (2 mos) usually around 8:30, I have a half hour to feed and change him. Then at 9 I get my daughter (2 years) up. She and the baby get a bath, then I put the baby in his crib with his mobile on (he loves it!!) while I work out and my daughter eats. Then I shower and then its time to feed the baby again. The rest of the day I clean, do laundry, run errands or whatever else needs to be done. A couple of suggestions: *invest in swaddle blankets. My son will be pissed off to no end, then I swaddle him and he relaxes immediately and usually takes a decent nap giving me some one on one time with my daughter. *keep a few Gerber Graduate meals on hand for when the baby needs your attention but the toddler is hungry. *prepare easy meals like tuna fish sandwiches for lunch and the easiest dinners I have found are the campbells recipes with chicken, rice veggies and cream of chicken soup. You just mix it all together and bake it for an hour!! *even if your older child is young try letting them watch sesame street or something like that. Its educational and they seem to like it. A little tv won't hurt them, plus it will give you a break. *its also nice if you can find a friend for your older child to play with at least once a week. Even though an extra kid at your house may sound like a handful it can actually make life a little easier for an hour or two. *Don't forget to relax, breathe and try to take a little bit of time for yourself each day. Even if its only 5 minutes to read an article in a magazine, or something similar. It helps keep your head clear!! Good luck!!
9. My first two children were only 15 mo apart. The first day I was home with both of them I cried and locked myself in the bathroom. I called my sister and she came and picked up my oldest son and kept him for a week so I could rest and recover from having a new baby ( c-section). My first advise is always pay attention to the oldest child first. They will realise if you ignore them but the baby wont. If you ignore the older child they will act out more and make your life more difficult. Also let the older child help you take care of the new baby they will enjoy it and resent the baby less. Plan to take showers when they are napping. CHILD PROOF your home! put up baby gates and cupboard locks. Have a play room with a rocking chair so your older child can play while you feed the baby and if the home is CHILD PROOF you wont have to watch your older child as closely. Keep a play pen or porta crib out in the living area for the new baby so that you can keep the new baby safe from the older one. I don't know how it happens but you just adapt and it works. And sometimes its overwhelming and you cry but don't feel bad about it we all go through it. Get help from family, and friends. A lot of people would jump at the chance to walk the floor with a new baby especially if they are baby hungry, then you can take a shower a nap or go for a walk with your older child.
10. My girls are 16 months apart. they are two and a half and 15 months now. My husband went back to work the day i got out of the hospital with my youngest. I felt at first there was no possible way to do this. My oldest wasnt sure what was going on and the baby was and still is a very needy child. I found something that worked very well was wearing the newborn in either a sling or a front carrier. she loved the closeness and i was actually able to get things done wether it be cooking cleaning... jsut about anything. Another hint is try as soon as possible to get them on to a similar schedule. For example, bathe them at the same time as soon as you can, get nap times close together( easiest is scheduling babies around your older childs). Obviously the newborn will be feeding alot, try to make this special time with both children, Olivia would sit next to the baby and i and we would watch baby einstein movies. sleep whenever your able to get them both to sleep. i am guilty of sleeping in a recliner with the baby for almsot the first 5 months just so that we could all sleep. when your husband is home, shower with the baby and have him wrap her up afterwards. My youngest used to calm down instantly from the warm water and close contact. youll find what works for you.
11. Women can do it all. Imagine 2 girls 10 yrs old, and 8 yrs old (soon to be 9 in May). Now add 1 boy 18 months and another 6 months. This is were I come in juggling lunches for school, homework, hair and advice for the girls and also diapers, bottles, the itsy bitsy spider, pattycake, Sesame Street, Barney, cherrieos, and boobs for the boys. Dinner is done at 5, baths at 6:30( for everyone but me), storytime and goodnights to all starting at 8 til 9. Then cleanup of house or sometimes just loading of dishwasher and laundry. I usually clean house during naptime (if there is a naptime for 18 mo.). I shower or bathe at night then read, watch my dvr of Oprah or intreatment, etc., surf the web or sleep with hubby ;) Scheduling and planning are key in a large family. You learn to prioritize very quickly or you will be overwelmed (learned that when the girls were born 14 month apart). I also am the financial manager of the house. A good husband helps out to because mothers work 24/7 our reward is knowing that we have developed happy, loving, well adjusted and goodnatured children.