Diapers Q&A - I wear adult diapers. How do I tell my girlfriend?

I wear adult diapers. How do I tell my girlfriend?

I've been incontinent for a little more than two years now, due to a car accident that left me- thankfully, though with a limp- able to walk, but damaged the nerves in my bladder very badly, and also did enough damage to the control of my bowels (via spinal damage) that I have to wear adult diapers. So, the problem is, I've so far been on two dates with this girl I've known for a about a month (from work), and I'm scared how to tell her about this problem. The last date we had we were at the movies and halfway through I soiled my diaper, and I knew I had to get out of their real quick before anyone could smell it, but she thought I was weird for leaving so abruptly and nervously. I didn't come back for a long time, 'cuz I had to go out to the car to get a change, and it kind of seemed to ruin the whole night, because I couldn't explain to her what happened. Anyway, how do I go about telling her something this embarassing? Most people aren't used to a 20-something needing diapers.

Public Comments

I wouldnt tell her until you know ,she really cares for you, no need to let her know till then. i would wait at least 5 months
uh woow.. well uh..um..if she's understanding,d en u shud try to tell her, but if she's not dos types n ya havnt really connected, i'd hold off... anyway...jus sit her down, tell her wat happened n tell her ur current situation. dat helps? hope so. well anyway, can u help me out wit MY issue since i helped u out wit urs? danks lots!
She won't like it too much. But if the love and bonding is there and it is true in her heart it won't matter too much. Be honest about it. You were here. Part of any relationship is accepting and forgiving. Communication also plays a very big role in all of them. If you can't talk to her now how will you later? The longer you put it of the harder it will get.
there is no best time to bring it up, you just need to do it. obviously not at dinner or anything, but start a conversation, about past experiences, ask her questions about where she's been, things she's done, just things about her life and dreams and goals, but without getting too deep and serious. and if she starts asking you questions, which is pretty much the whole point here, tell her about yourself, your accident, your outlook on life because of it, and matter-of-a-factly describe what occured and how it changed you. she may not deal with it well, or at all, but this is who you are, and it's not going to change, so you need to get it out of the way. i don't think it's a big deal, really, but honesty is always best. and those who cannot deal with others differences are usually not worth the time. also, you could ask your doctor for any suggestions on how to approach and explain your disability. he could be a good sounding board on how to word it and what to say, and anticipate any questions she may have. another hint - it might be a good idea to invest in a messenger bag, satchel, some sort of bag, so you can have semi-normal dates without huge interruptions.
You should just be honest with her and tell her what happened! If she leaves you for that reason, then you know that she really doesn't care!
LMAO OMG SORRY BUT I COULDENT RESIST!!!!
if u love her that much and she loves u too.. them i think it won't mean anything to her.. just tell her the truth.. about the accident... about ur condition... 4sure she'll understand this... then u'll also know if she cares more of u... and accepts u...
Are you sure she doesn't already know? Maybe she and you have mutual friends. Anyway, be upfront now and let her decide for herself, it's only fair.
At this point just explain you have some problems from a car accident, tell her you you need to take meds and may need to abruptly get up.. Wait until you have dated for a couple of months before you disclose the extent of your injuries. The girl that sticks with you and even helps change the depends is the girl you were meant to be with. No joke intended.
Anyone who is kind hearted and sincere should understand your condition. Just explain to her like you did here. Tell her about the accident and what happened to you. Tell her how lucky that things could have been more worse off for you but you do have a condition which is embarrassing to talk about. Apologize for leaving so abruptly but you want her to understand that due to your condition this can happen and you don't want her to think it's because of her. Leave it at and if she feels comfortable asking more then you can go into greater deal or share the whole thing later on when you know each other better. Just be honest. If she's a nice person she should understand. If she doesn't then she's not the right person for you.
Just say so...make a joke about it, tell her you brought along an extra one just for her to try out! ( Hey, it's better than a "used one!") Bladder problems, lots of people have them.. they have advertisements on tv all the time. (It's not like you wear them to do it on purpose!) You could if you wanted too, i've wanted to, got a couple in the mail, used them both! It wasn't as bad as i thought....hey! i have more! Just tell her, OK? ..lol...........
Tell her now cos if you don't she won't have any trust or respect for you if you keep it from her.
Just be honest - if you mean anything to her it won't matter. :)
this is a health condition that you cant help, im sure at times it can be embarassing, but if you keep going on dates with her and this happens, she might lose intrest. sit her down (not over dinner!) and tell her about the accident you were in and explain to her how it left you physically. im sure if she was intrested and was sensitive, it wouldnt make a difference. in fact, it may make her feel good to know that you were open enough to share that with her. i hope this helped! :D
Well, I'm a 20 something, so let me give you my point of view. I'd prefer somebody just be up front with me. Personally, I wouldn't care, but I'd appreciate if they had a back pack or something with extra diapers. Having to go out to your car sounds like it'd eat up a lot of time (Not to mention having to walk so much further around people smelling like that. The extra embarrassment isn't needed.) Cleanliness is probably going to be one of her concerns. When you tell her, be sure to assure her that hygiene is tops on your priority list. Point out that she didn't notice (meaning you didn't smell like diapers!) If she's mature, and not a bitch, she's not going to hold it against you. It's no different than needing glasses, or a prothetic leg.
The best way to answer this question is to talk one on one with your girl explain to her about your accident first and then tell her your effects from it and hopefully she'll understand. If not than i'm sorry to hear that. And make sure no one else is around to bother you just talk someplace quietly.
First off, I'm sorry for your accident and your need to have to wear diapers all the time, especially at your age. You are right, most people aren't used to someone your age needing diapers. I'm 60 and I too have been incontinent for about two years but at my age, most people figure it's normal for me to need a diaper, but in all honesty, that is very untrue. You have the perfect opportunity to explain to her what was wrong and why you were gone so long but don't let it bother you too much. If you two get serious about each other then there will be other times when you will be able to tell her. It's difficult to come right out and say, "hey, I wear diapers" to someone you care about and are trying to impress, but if she really does care about you and really wants to be with you and thinks a lot of you then she should be understanding about it and it shouldn't bother her. If it does, then she really doesn't care about you as much as she says she does. Later on, when the opportunity again presents itself, you can say to her, "remember that night we went to the movies? Well, I had an accident. . . " and then go into the explanation about the accident and tell her exactly what you told us here and you will do just fine. Give her the facts and explain to her that you have little control and there are going to be times when you will have to change or be changed, and who knows, she might just want to be the one to change you. You have to also remember, that over time as you become more accustomed to wearing your diapers all the time, you will learn how to manage things better, like making sure you have a good bowel movement BEFORE you go out on a date so that it lessens the possibilities of an accident while you are out. You can train yourself to time your bathroom trips to be more appropriate for your schedule. I wish you well my friend. Good luck.