Diapers Q&A - Baby shower?

Baby shower?

Ok I am super frustrated...my older sister VOLUNTEERED to throw my shower. We aren't having it until a month before I am due. She is an extremely unreliable person and is always complaining that she has no money. Her and her husband never pays their bills on time and are acutally in the middle of filing bankruptcy. Anyway...long story short today she comes to my house to drop off my nephew and my husband shows her a dress we bought for our baby...she says "I don't know what you need a shower for when you have all this stuff." We have been stocking up on diapers, wipes, bottles, socks, blankets, clothes, daily care items etc. WE like to be prepared and don't EXPECT anyone to buy us gifts. Nonetheless I just know in my heart at the 12th hour she's going to pull a "I can't afford your shower" and it is going to devastate me!! What do I do? Be patient and wait to see what she does or tell her now that I want to handle it?

Public Comments

I would tell her I'm doing it myself. If you have your heart set on a baby shower, you should have one. Good Luck!
or just simply tell her someone else will do it for u...or do it urself. My mom is is throwing mine & we constantly fight. So i know that she might just say forget about the whole thing. IF she doesnt come through then i have someone else that would
I would tell her that I MYSELF want to handle... That happened with my son... My husband's mother was planning on throwing it and she was waiting til the last minute, until I started calling places myself and we did together and it happened... Don't wait til the last minute when she does do that cause then you will stress it... Like right now start looking for places and everything else... There you go... Hope all goes well! Good Luck and Congrats! :)
yea it can be fustrating my sisters is next week....tell her you want to know whats going on in advance time
Can you get another family member involved to "help" her out and keep her motivated? When my sister threw me a bridal shower, I was worried about the same thing happening and I mentioned this to my Aunt. In the nicest way possible, I had my sister meet my Aunt and I for lunch and my Aunt told her that she would love to "help" her in any way possible. My sister accepted. As long as she still feels like she is in control and is the one doing most of the creative work, she won't mind the "help" of someone calling to remind her of deadlines and keep her motivated (and possibly lend some financial assistance to the party). If you tell her you're worried, she may react negatively and no one wants that. Just be careful to think about her feelings to what you say before you say them. Best of luck! Peace, Jenn
tell her now
You can always just tell her you want to help, I'm sure she's happy about you having a child so you should just ask her if you can help, that way you will know how everythings coming along.
well don't depend on your sister, she's already rationalizing backing out now when she said you have so much stuff you don't need a shower. plan it yourself, or have a friend who IS reliable instead.
Key words here---your own, by the way "We...don't EXPECT anyone to buy us gifts." If you really don't EXPECT people to shower you with gifts grow up and stop complaining about your unreliable sister. If the shower happens, great. If not, so what? You've been preparing and have things for the baby, and I'm sure there will be other people who are close to you who will give the baby gifts regardless of whether or not there's a shower. It's really tacky to give yourself a baby shower and not too cool to expect somebody to give you one. If your sister said she'd do it, jump back and let her follow through. If she does, hooray--you've got your shower, and if she doesn't, there doesn't seem to be a big surprise there. Whatever happens I hope you calm down cuz stres isn't good for the baby.
Well, it's pretty common to hold the shower a month before the due date, so I think that is fine. Very normal. If you are worried about her not coming through or not being able to afford it, why not ask her if you can help? If you ask her nicely and try to be helpful she might feel some relief. If you think she can't afford it but you really want the party maybe you can offer to provide the food. Do you think that would help out? Is there another family member you are very close to? Maybe you could ask that person to gently step in and offer some assistance with the planning so it isn't last minute. Perhaps she said what she said in a bad moment? Maybe she was having a bad day or feeling a bit of jealousy since you have new baby things and she's filing bankruptcy? I don't know, just trying to figure it out for you. If she says something like that again I'd say something like "It sounds like you don't think we should have a shower and that's okay. Let's cancel the plans" but say it nicely and sincerely. And have someone else take over. Hope that helps. Good luck. And congratulations on the baby!
do it your self she already sounds like she is goign to ack out ya know i have three baby showers being thrown for me one is being thrown by my mother in law shes a christiany kind of person and the other is by some guy friends i think its just there idea of getting every one together to drink there just putting me in the mix to make them look good lol and then another one by another family memeber lol but do it your self it will make
Honey throwing yourself a shower is NOT tacky. Being a new mom you have needs and a shower is the way you allow the people who love you to meet those needs. Some people have two or three showers. I would not depend on your sister. I would get someone you trust to "help her" and make sure things happen. Dont allow youself to be in a place where she can devastate you. My sisters let me down ALL THE TIME so I just dont put much hope in them anymore and things work out for the better. One of my sisters didnt even come to my last shower. Do what you have to do to be happy and dont feel guilty about your choices. Good luck
YOUR pregnant. YOUR carrying the child for NINE months. So you have every right to tell her that you are handling it. She can help out some but other than that its yours.